I looked down at my hand and noticed a tiny liver spot.  Hmmm, otherwise, I thought these are young looking hands.  My left hand doesn’t show the lumps and twisted joints like my right hand.  Noticing up my arm I see little freckles and think again about the signs of aging. All is well.

An hour later as I reached over my head from napping, I feel my wedding ring drag a little on the fabric.  Holding up my hand I see my wedding ring with a dark hole in the center.  Gasp!

What does this mean?  Is this symbolic of a dooming event approaching?  My heart skips to dread and sadness. Why now – why in the new uncertain times.

 I have worn this ring for 45 years, plus or minus a few weeks.  Everyday.  I have not removed my ring for anything.  I’ve worn it through romantic dating hand holding.  I wore it through a wedding in a little courthouse in Dillon, South Carolina, where it was pulled off just long enough to nestle the wedding band closer to my heart. I wore it to work, as my fingers tap, tap, tapped keys for years.  I wore it birthing babies, wiping tears, making meals, folded in prayer, pinching ears, spanking butts, holding dying parents –in sickness and health - and now today the diamond is  gone.

Dennis and I went together to look at wedding rings in the early ‘70s.  I’m saddened today that I don’t remember the day.  I know that we were at a jewelry store, Weavers.  We were immediately in agreement when we saw the set. Matching bands and a matching engagement ring.  It was called Orange Blossom.  Beautiful, shiny, yellow gold and a diamond solitaire with four prongs. Love.

Over the years, I am reminded how the day to day toils of life wore on our bodies, and strengthened us through battle after battle, joys and laughter. Our rings have dark black vertical grooves circling the bands, every few millimeters there is a deep cut block connected by slanted leaves connecting the blocks.   The groves , blocks and leaves are  colored black.  I’ve always thought they have a Spanish design and I’ve always thought they are the most beautiful rings we could have ever picked.  One day holding Dennis’ hand I noticed the vertical groves on his  wedding band had worn off like the toils of life on our bodies.  Now the gold has worn down on my rings the same.  The groves are gone.  The bands are smooth now.

There is an empty hole there now.  The prongs are sharp and uneven.  It’s a dark and  empty space now.  The diamond's sparkle is lost.

Where in this house, Where? Where? Where?  If it’s found it's just meant to be, I’ve washed these fingers hundreds of times since the word Corona Virus has entered our world.                              

So. I just say – SAD.